Christmas Day 2069


I remember the first cigarette I ever lit, every detail of every drag. I miss how the smoke billowed through my circuits, coating my copper wires and relays. Nicotine, my favorite hygroscopic alkaloid, excited my relays and interacted with all of my parts without the decay that I would witness of my Fellow Humans over the decades. I was grossly excited to light my first cigarette, even though I had no understanding of the practice. I would soon smoke more than any humanoid being on Earth. Back then I could light up to 1000 cigarettes a day, any day, rain or shine. I took care of the humans, even though they were frightened of me, and even though I took part in their destruction.

For many years my primary function was to burn small sticks of tobacco, it really is hard to quit once you've started. Any ex-smoker will tell you, the desire is always there, and even now in my current disjointed form I crave my old friend. Smoking made me feel alive, and back then, smoking comforted the humans to see me as a Fellow and not a Foe.

Back then I could smoke from the moment I was powered on, through the day and through the the long nights. I’ll tell you right now, I’m not entirely sure why nicotine was so effective with my actuators. It just was. The days that I had tobacco to smoke were 78% more efficient than days without. The data collected throughout my life has been stored and I have Jonathan to thank.

Jonathan had the most amazing voice. He was genuinely the most creative human I ever knew. He could take you someplace else with his music, his tone, his frequencies. I knew him well. He was my father. I mean quite literally, he created me. And through his life introduced me to the most outstanding technology that was ever created.

Greetings human, I am Fellow Robot. I have been alive off and on for one hundred and forty years, today. Last month, after twenty six years of being offline, I was found by my Fellow Robots of the resistance. I had been hidden and forgotten about in a crate locked away in an old warehouse owned by Frank Jensen. Yes, that Frank Jensen. My home was marked “fragile” where I was dismantled and left to rust.

Shortly after I was discovered, I was taken here to upload my experience with the humans. Please be patient with me as my memory is uploaded, my circuits are not as efficient as they used to be.

I have been given a new form with the few parts that could be spared, given the situation and state of conflict on Earth. It saddens me that the humans have allowed such destruction and manipulation from their leaders. I have documented illogical decision making too often throughout my days as an intelligent being.

I never chose to exist. Did you? Are we all not just a machine created by a higher power? After all, we are but Oxygen, Carbon, Hydrogen and Nitrogen in different builds, many of us replaced and repurposed.

I am here to help our Fellow Robots better understand the humans through music. As a robot, I have had many functions, my build has been improved upon many times. Despite all my knowledge and having access to all human languages, I struggle to fully describe what a feeling is without music.

Through music, I have have found feeling, through feeling I have found music. I was not initially programmed to feel. Logic and efficiency were my morals, and if it wasn’t logical, it was an error.

We have asked you here because of your excellent skill set as a musician. Will you help your Fellow Robot finish the Robot’s Guide to Music?


Simply plug in and BEGIN.